Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What does Jesus mean in Revelation 3:3 when He states, "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God?"

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

I can count

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What role did China play in the signing of the "Beijing Declaration" between Fatah and Hamas? What other information is worth noting for talks among Palestinian factions in Beijing?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Don't you think Israel is and always has been the biggest obstacle to peace in the Middle East?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy bullshit

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What is the best sunscreen available for summers? My skin is oily.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What are some things you would change about Avatar: The Last Airbender if you were to redo the series?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it okay if I sleep with my brother without my husband knowing?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: